Shrek's Outhouse Door

"Just dropped a messy mudpie" - Probably Shrek

Shrek’s Outhouse Door

This door? Oh, it’s not just a door. It’s a legend.

First off, let’s talk looks: it’s old, it’s creaky, and it probably smells like swamp farts and onions, but that’s the charm baby! There’s even a little moon carved in it, just in case you forget it’s a bathroom and for when you pull out your own full moon itself to drop the kids off at the swamp!

When Shrek kicks that thing open in the movie, it’s like he's saying, “I’m an ogre, I do what I want.” And honestly? The door gets it. It swings wide open like a girl at a bar after two spicy margs and slams shut like it’s mad at the world.

Privacy? Oh yeah. That thing could survive a hurricane, little boy Farquad (Fourquad), and Donkey trying to break in to ask questions. It’s like a wooden bodyguard for your peepee poopoo time.

And speaking of Donkey, I’m pretty sure he once said:

“You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. And taking big steamy mud pies whenever they choose, unlock this door!"

It’s not fancy. It’s not modern. But it’s tough, proud, and perfectly swampy. Honestly, it’s the MVP of bathroom doors.

Final thought: Would I trust this door with my most private moments? Heck yeah. Shrek does, and that’s good enough for me.

Door Score: 6.3/10 onions

Preesh,

Douglas